


After the Funeral

by HoneyBadgerMole



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Boys In Love, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Healthy Relationships, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Post-Canon, Rating May Change, Super angsty, Tags May Change, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:46:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25177879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneyBadgerMole/pseuds/HoneyBadgerMole
Summary: Sokka grapples with the loss of Suki after her death. Zuko is there to support Sokka. Both are hiding their true feelings from each other. Zuko has loved Sokka for years but has done everything he could to conceal it. Sokka had been doubting his relationship with Suki before she died and now that she's gone starts to feel different about Zuko.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

Zuko gently rubbed Sokka's back as he stood, sobbing into Zuko's shoulder.

Rain gently sprinkled the funeral. Ty Lee was standing in front of the group of mourners. Her bubbly personality was gone. She fought to keep speaking even though tears were leaking out of her eyes smearing her Kiyoshi Warrior's makeup.

"Suki was a great leader and she will be missed." She concluded before dissolving completely into sobs. Mai wrapped her arms around Ty Lee guiding her away.

Everyone in Team Avatar except for Zuko and Sokka had spoken thus far, along with a couple of the Kiyoshi Warriors and Suki's family. Aang walked over and whispered "Zuko, you're up." 

He transferred Sokka to Aang who had grown in the last two years and walked to the front. "I could not have asked for a better guard than Suki and the rest of the Kiyoshi Warriors. She gave her life protecting me and my family and I will forever be indebted to her for that. She was loyal and brave and my friend. I hope she will now find peace amongst the spirits."

The Kiyoshi Warriors lowered her coffin into the ground before Toph earthbent the dirt, burying Suki.

Team Avatar was congregated around Sokka in a group hug but he was inconsolable. After a long while the hug broke apart. Zuko gently wrapped his fingers around Sokka's arm and walked him from the graveyard saying "Let's get you back to the palace. I'll make you some tea." 

Sokka just lay in Zuko's lap crying quietly on the palanquin ride back to the place he had been calling home for over a year now. He had lept at the opportunity to be the Southern Water Tribe's Ambassador to the Fire Nation. He could spend time with one of his closest friends and girlfriend. What's not to love?

"I'm sorry Sokka," Zuko whispered. A single tear slid down his face now that he was out of the public eye and no longer had to put on a strong facade. "I'll understand if you don't want to see me after this and I won't blame you if you never forgive me." His heart broke with every word he said but if it helped Sokka through the grief he would take the pain of losing the man he secretly loved.

"No!" Sokka shot up to face Zuko, wiping his eyes clumsily with the back of his hand. "Please, you- you're my best friend and I can't- I can't lose someone else not again." He burst into sobs again and Zuko felt guilty for reigniting the pain in his friend. He wrapped his arms around Sokka cradling his neck protectively as though it would somehow keep the emotional torment Sokka was going through at bay. After a long minute Sokka murmured into his shoulder "Suki knew the risks of being a warrior and of being your guard. I don't blame you, I'm just sad she's gone."

The rest of the ride went in silence.

Zuko gently guided Sokka to his room. His Uncle's present for his nineteenth birthday had been a small clay teapot and some of his favorite jasmine tea. He lit the fireplace and started brewing. His room was massive. It was adorned in the traditional red, black, and gold of the Fire Nation, had cushy sofas around the fireplace, a large four poster bed, and opened to a balcony with a stunning view.

Sokka was currently lying on his side on the couch, motionless gazing at the fire. It was quiet except for the occasional sniffle, crackle of the fire, and sounds of Zuko making tea. "Hey, could you sit up for me?" He asked. 

Sokka's was numb. He sat up, unaware of the fact his brain told his limbs to do so. Zuko placed a small steaming cup in his hand. Out of muscle memory he brought it to his lips. He didn't know what to do with himself now that Suki was gone. 

He felt sadness at her death, rage towards those who killed her, and ashamed of the fact that he had been questioning their relationship when she died. He hated himself for not appreciating his time with her more. He hated himself that he was ever sexist towards her. He hated himself that even on the day of her funeral he couldn't shut out his intrusive feelings towards Zuko. 

"Uncle's always better at helping people than I am." Zuko remarked sitting next to Sokka sipping his tea as Sokka stared pensively down at his own. "Sometimes it helps to talk about things. And sometimes it doesn't." He wished Sokka would make a snarky remark at his lack of wisdom but instead, nothing. "I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm here for you Sokka. I-I care about you." He hoped Sokka didn't read into his comment and interpreted it as friendship not what it actually was.

They sat in silence for a long while. "I don't know how I can go back to my room if she's not in it."

"You could stay in my room, if you want." Zuko offered, trying not to sound as eager as he was to be in close proximity to Sokka.

Sokka sniffed and in a thick voice he said "Thanks Zuko." He paused and his mind flitted back to Suki. She was gone. She was really gone. She was gone and he couldn't save her. The fragile dam he had built broke at this thought and tears started to flood back out of his eyes. "I'm sorry, I know you don't like contact but I really need a hug."

"I'm here Sokka. I won't leave. I promise." Zuko said as he enveloped Sokka once again in his arms.

He couldn't help his thoughts. Sokka's face was pressed against his chest. His face was so close. Zuko would barely have to move to kiss him. No. No way. 

He lost his girlfriend. He didn't like men like that. He would never like Zuko back. He would leave Zuko if he found out Zuko liked men. Especially if he found out Zuko liked him. Sokka was his best friend and advisor. Zuko had long since come to the conclusion that if he truly loved Sokka the way he thought he did he would make Sokka happy even if that meant breaking his own heart everyday.

Zuko blinked and a solitary tear came out of each of his eyes. Sokka didn't notice. Sokka was deep in his own thoughts. He had always found solace from physical contact with others but something about Zuko was especially comforting. He didn't embrace Sokka often but when he did it was one of the best feelings in the world.

Zuko undid Sokka's warrior's wolf tail and ran his fingers through Sokka's hair. He had noticed that whenever Sokka got stressed he fidgeted with his hair so he hoped Sokka would find the feeling consoling.

The two men sat holding each other as the sunset let out one final brilliant red light before sinking below the horizon. Zuko always appreciated sunsets and sunrises. They used to be the only constant in his life on board the ship for those long years.

"Hey, it's getting dark. We should get to bed. Uncle always tells me a man needs his rest." His voice was calm and gentle. 

Sokka wasn't used to this side of Zuko. He knew Zuko as an intense fighter in combat or as a determined politician doing everything in his power to help his nation. He rarely saw Zuko as calm or gentle. But right now, he needed Zuko to be the eye of the storm of his turbulent emotions. He nodded against Zuko, not wanting to let go.

Zuko helped him up and walked Sokka to his bed, keeping one arm wrapped around him. Sokka felt childlike as Zuko tucked him in but he couldn't bring himself to care.

Zuko grabbed his evening robes and changed in the small bathroom attached to his bedroom. He had gotten used to pushing his feelings aside like snuffing out a candle. It was harder to do that when his emotions were more like a raging wildfire. He had tried so hard for so long to push his attraction to men aside. But Sokka, Sokka made it boil over.

He walked back into his room and realized he didn't know what to do with himself. He didn't want to give Sokka the wrong idea. He grabbed an excess blanket from the foot of his bed and went to lie on the couch. He had slept in far more uncomfortable places before so he didn't much care.

"What are you doing?" Sokka had propped himself up on his elbows and was looking at Zuko with a bemused look on his face.

"Oh, I just thought you'd want the bed to yourself." His ears felt hot and he knew he was blushing out of embarrassment.

"It's fine." He reached over and patted the bed next to him before flopping back down. 

Zuko crawled under his sheets. His bed was massive so Sokka could keep his distance if he wanted. Zuko's mind went to his fantasies. He was so close yet so far. 

Him and Sokka holding each other in bed. Sokka hugging him from behind and kissing his cheek. The best one of all the one that made him happiest and hurt him the most. Him and Sokka getting married. Taking vows. Kissing for the world to see. He shook himself out of it. Entertaining those fictions only made reality harsher. 

Sokka lay on his side facing away from Zuko. Zuko lay on his back, staring at the blank ceiling. He closed his eyes and did his best to shut out his thoughts. But, one thought kept recurring and he hated himself for it. Maybe Sokka liked both. Maybe he liked Zuko back. Maybe with Suki gone he'd have a chance.

While Zuko was busy admonishing his inner monologue Sokka too had troublesome thoughts. He liked this. He liked this too much. It felt nice to be laying next to Zuko in fine silky robes that showed off his muscular chest as the long flowing sleeves draped off of his shoulder. The bed smelled of Zuko and Sokka found it intoxicating. Tears leaked out of his eyes as he thought about his loss and how his current thoughts betrayed him.


	2. Chapter 2

Zuko was an early riser, he always had been. The sun's beams flooded through his windows illuminating the lump in his bed next to him. Sokka must have migrated sometime during the night, rolling in his sleep, because his head currently rested on Zuko's sleeve.

Sokka was so peaceful. The normal frown of concentration was gone. Zuko didn't want to wake Sokka up, they had both stayed up late last night, minds plagued by invasive thoughts that refused to let them rest. 

He had neglected his duties for two days arranging the funeral and trying to be Sokka's emotional support. He hoped Sokka would sleep in and he could take care of some work while he rested. Zuko lit a finger with a small fire and carefully cut his sleeve off where the shoulder attached to the arm. There was probably a better solution but he didn't want to disturb Sokka.

Doing his best to not make a sound, he got up and met with his harried adviser. She looked confused at his odd appearance with a singed off sleeve. "Shall I call the seamstress?"

"I'll be fine, just tell me the most urgent things on the docket." 

His adviser prattled on as he walked to his dining room. Katara and Aang were already seated at the table, he had them as guests for the funeral. Aang was animatedly talking about finding a female sky bison but was cut short by Katara.

"Hey, Zuko." She paused, her eyes flickering over Zuko's shoulder. "Is Sokka not awake yet?" Then she noticed his appearance. "Also, what happened to your sleeve?"

"Uh, Sokka fell asleep on my sleeve and I didn't want to wake him up." The group looked at each other for a second before Zuko realized he would need to provide an explanation as to why he had been in the same bed as Sokka. "Oh, Sokka said he didn't want to sleep in his and Suki's room so I offered to let him stay in mine." There was another awkward pause, he forced a laugh and rubbed the back of his neck. "I offered to sleep on the couch but Sokka said it was fine."

"I think we should let Sokka sleep." Aang mercifully chimed in, saving Zuko from continuing to spiral.

"Fire Lord Zuko, as important as your conversation with the Avatar is, there are urgent matters that need your attention." His adviser cut in before they could continue catching up.

"Aang and I were just finishing anyway." Katara said standing, Aang following suit. 

"Sokka should be getting up soon. Maybe you guys could help cheer him up?" After affirming they knew where his bedroom was in the winding halls he read letters from foreign leaders over breakfast and had someone transcribe his responses. Then he read over proposed legislation and current issues facing Fire Nation citizens. Sokka was always the good spirit on his shoulder. He was clever and pragmatic but also kind. Zuko appreciated each of the aspects about him along with ten thousand more.

He asked one of his servants to bring the rest of his work back to his room. His bed was empty when he returned. He spent the next hour or two working silently, perched on the couch pouring over a mountain of paperwork. At the sound of his door opening he turned to look at Sokka. His hair was disheveled and he looked like a mess. Even at his worst Zuko still found him beautiful.

"Aang taught Appa some new tricks and decided to show me." He gestured at his windswept hair. "They told me you were working. Then Katara started getting all coupley and oogie so I told them to go on a date and that I'd come back and help you." Sokka strode across the room, sat in front of him, and picked up some of the parchment. "Have you read this one? I think my dad may have a point. Having a joint alliance of fire and water benders would help protect the southern trade route."

"You don't have to work right now, I'll take care of things for you." He felt guilty. He wasn't going to be like his father, discard people as soon as they were no longer helpful to his agenda. Sokka didn't need more on his plate and while it would be difficult without him Zuko was pretty sure he could manage. His heart skipped a beat as Sokka's hand reached out and touched the back of his for a second. 

"No. I need something to do." Sokka liked distractions. Training to be a warrior was a good distraction from his mother dying and his father leaving. Being sarcastic and witty were good distractions from uncomfortable situations. Working would hopefully be a good distraction from the aching in his heart and the confusing thoughts in his head. Realizing he was still touching Zuko he let him go, retracting his hand.

Zuko wasn't going to argue with Sokka right now. "That's a good idea but the South can't really provide enough water benders and the North is still being uncooperative."

They spent the rest of the day working and discussing policy by Zuko's fireplace. He had rescheduled all of his meetings for the week after the attack and the loss of Suki and food brought to his room. There was nothing to interrupt them, it was just him and Sokka putting out political fire after political fire. Eventually the conversation drifted away from their work. Zuko asked Sokka about Water Tribe culture and Sokka's life. He told funny stories and everything changed with an off hand comment.

"Apparently my dad was pretty annoyed when he found out Bato and his husband had fed me seal jerky while he was out fishing. I was so young I barely had teeth to eat it." Sokka laughed.

"Husband?" That was all Zuko heard. Bato had been brought up before, he knew Bato was a man. 

"Uh, yeah. They've been together as long as I can remember." He then narrowed his eyes realizing what Zuko was actually surprised at. "Do you not think men should have husbands?" Sokka tried not to let on how hurt and angry he would be if Zuko said he thought it was wrong. Bato was like family and he would stand up for him.

Zuko wished more than anything he could tell Sokka just how much he believed men should be able to have husbands. He could also see that Sokka was more than okay with the concept which made him feel a bit better. "The thought just never occurred to me that would be an option." He didn't like lying to Sokka but he had to keep his secret.

"You're telling me you didn't think guys and guys or girls and girls could be together? Dude, your guards are the Kiyoshi Warriors. Suki had more ex-girlfriends than me." Sokka started sounding amused but his mouth ran ahead of his brain. Pain seemed to creep back into his chest.

Zuko saw the realization in Sokka's eyes at what he had just uttered. "No. I knew it was a thing. My father just criminalized it. I made it legal of course but people in the Fire Nation still tend to not talk about that stuff."

Sokka's eyes were downcast. "We should probably finish this." He gestured aimlessly at the scattered parchment.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'll have a servant take these where they're needed." He blew on some wet ink as Sokka folded all of their paperwork into organized scrolls. When everything was completed and taken away Zuko looked at Sokka. "Is there anything you'd like to do?"

"Pei Sho?"

"You always beat me."

"Pretty please."

"Ugh, fine."

Zuko got a board and tiles out. Sokka had always been a strategist and the planning and forethought required for Pei Sho suited him well. He beat Zuko easily, multiple times.

However, as they played Sokka couldn't shut his brain off. He got a sense that Zuko wasn't telling him something. Zuko always kept things close to his chest but in the end he normally told Sokka. This was different. He had been keeping something from Sokka since their balloon flight to the Boiling Rock. Sokka couldn't say how he knew but when he brought up Bato's husband he thought he might have hit close to whatever Zuko was keeping from him. That wouldn't make sense though. Zuko seemed to have liked Mai and he never once even acted slightly interested in the concept of other men. 

But the more Sokka thought about it the more things clicked together. Zuko didn't seem particularly saddened when Mai had broken up with him and he hadn't dated anyone since. He hadn't really seemed interested in any girl since then. Whenever Sokka asked him about it Zuko just told him there wasn't anyone he liked. Once or twice he and Zuko had gone out and met pretty guys about their age and Zuko got tongue tied the way Sokka did around cute girls. Sokka had assumed Zuko just wasn't good at talking to people his own age but he never seemed to get that way around girls.

An idea sprang to his mind. "Okay next game if I win I get to ask you a question and you have to promise to be honest."

"And if I win I get to cut off your warrior's wolf tail." Zuko said sarcastically. In his head this challenge sounded all the warning bells but he didn't know how he could refuse without seeming more suspicious. He hoped Sokka was just going to ask him some stupid question. How could Sokka know? He had been so careful to hide his feelings. He never initiated physical contact and never said anything that couldn't be interpreted as just a friend expressing affection.

"Not my wolf tail! That's half my personality!" He rolled his eyes. "Okay, now I'm definitely going to beat you."

This was by far the most intense game they had played. It was silent as they concentrated trying to devise strategies and counteract the other's moves. Zuko swore mentally as Sokka placed a final tile grinning. He didn't know how Sokka could have made and sprung a plan that elaborate but if anyone could it would be him.

"Question time!" Sokka thought, trying to figure out how to phrase it. If what he believed was true then Zuko had been keeping a big part of himself hidden for a long time. "Do you like men?"

Zuko's heart stopped dead in its tracks. His entire body froze. Terror rose up in him. He hadn't been this scared when he and Azula fought in their Agni Kai. He promised Sokka to tell the truth. "What makes you ask that?" Maybe if he deflected Sokka would drop it. 

Sokka hadn't been prepared to be asked that. "Just, um, the way you asked about Bato's husband and the fact that you don't have a girlfriend and that one time where you gagged on your tea in Ba Sing Se when you met the hot guy your uncle hired as a server at the Jasmine Dragon." He couldn't tell which of them was awkwardly blushing more.

Zuko got up, strode to his doors, and popped his head out. Two Kiyoshi Warriors were standing guard outside. "Hey could you guys go and make sure no one comes down this hallway for the next couple minutes?" His doors were thick and this was an unnecessary precaution to maintain privacy but he did it anyway. The Kiyoshi Warriors nodded and walked off.

Sokka's eyes widened as Zuko came back towards him with an unreadable expression. Anger? Fear? Shame? Sadness? He already could guess Zuko's answer was yes based on the fact he asked for complete privacy. "I-I'm sorry. You don't have to answer if you don't want to." He looked down, unable to maintain contact with the molten pools of gold that were Zuko's eyes.

"Does anyone else know?" Zuko's whisper had a forced calm about it.

"No! I just figured it out a minute ago. So, it's true?"

"It wouldn't matter if I did. I'm royalty, we don't marry who we like, we marry who's important." He snapped at Sokka. The edge in his voice was slightly blunted by the sadness which crept in unbidden.

Zuko couldn't help it, he was tearing up. This secret had been gnawing at his insides for as long as he could remember. His uncle knew but he was far off in Ba Sing Se leaving him with a secret that weighed on his chest like a whale mammoth. 

Even if acceptance is assured it doesn't make telling someone you're close to, someone whose opinions you care about, easy. It's true vulnerability showing someone a part of yourself you've hidden for so long out of fear. It's not fair, most people don't need to hold their heart in their hands and show it to the world hoping it won't get torn to shreds just because of who they love.

"I've known since I was little." He whispered as all the fight in his body evaporated. "I heard my father and how he talked about people like that and I was so scared." His voice broke with that last word and he looked away from Sokka, blinking tears out of his eyes and wiping away the evidence of his shame.

"Oh, spirits, Zuko. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you tell me." Sokka sounded guilty and unsure of what to do next. "It doesn't matter to me, I still love you no matter what."

This only made Zuko cry harder, partially out of relief that he was accepted and partly because it felt like a fist was crushing his heart. Sokka loved him just not in the way Zuko wanted.

"I'm not good with emotions. Are you okay with a hug?" He gave a muffled laugh and nodded.

"I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to be supporting me right now." He felt guilty. Sokka just lost his girlfriend of two years.

"I'm your best friend. It's my job to be here when shit hits the fan. Besides it's nice not being the biggest emotional wreck in the room." No matter the situation Sokka was still himself.

Even through his tears Zuko laughed. He was surprised Sokka was willing to touch him after finding out, yet here he was cradling Zuko in his arms willing to say he loved him. Eventually he regained composure, sniffing and clearing his throat he looked outside to see the stars dotted across the dark night sky. Sokka followed his gaze. "We should probably get to bed, huh?"

"Probably." Zuko paused awkwardly as he stepped towards his bed. He hung his head. "If you don't want to share the-"

He was cut off by Sokka sliding into his bed and tossing a pillow at his face. "Zuko, this doesn't change anything," his reassuring smile fell "and I don't think I'm ready to sleep alone. Not yet."

They fell asleep together both unraveling what Zuko had revealed about himself in their minds.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I kinda have an OC in this but he's honestly just here for plot purposes. Sorry I didn't tag it but I didn't think it was important enough to tag.

Things between them went back to normal during the following week. Sokka didn't bring up what Zuko had told him and they continued running the Fire Nation. As per usual Sokka was Zuko's right hand man at diplomatic meetings, reading over legislation, and giving him an outside perspective that made him a wiser ruler. 

There was something almost imperceptible that grew between the two, their trust and emotional closeness increased. They had already relied on each other but now it almost felt as though they were two pieces of the same puzzle. The slightest glance during a meeting was enough to convey a thousand letters worth of thoughts and feelings.

Sokka still shared a bed with Zuko. He wasn't ready to go to his own room in the castle. After a year of dating he and Suki decided to share his room. It had been hard sleeping alone in the cavernous palace. He was used to either sleeping in an igloo shared with his sister or at a campsite with his friends in sleeping bags only a few feet away. It had been over a week since the funeral and he still hadn't mustered up the courage to go in and sift through Suki's things.

However, it wasn't just Sokka's feelings towards his room that were troubling him. He had been sure for so long that he liked girls. Based on the sharp pain that lanced through his heart whenever he thought about Suki this was still true, maybe just not exclusively girls. Suki had liked girls and guys would it be so outlandish for him to like both as well?

Yes. Whenever he asked himself that question he always reflexively responded, yes. He was just desperate and lonely with Suki gone and was reaching out to Zuko as the person he was in the closest proximity to on a daily basis. He didn't like Zuko like that. He was a warrior, a ladies man, it just wasn't possible. His mind was mostly placated by his response except for the occasional doubt that plagued his thoughts as he lay awake at night wishing Zuko was closer.

This constant worry and doubt made his job harder because a new, young representative from the Earth Kingdom had come. His name was Tai Yang, he was about their age with emerald eyes, a sparkling grin, and beautiful chocolate brown hair. Zuko seemed to have taken a liking to him. He listened with captivated attention whenever his cheerful voice spoke up during meetings. Tai Yang also seemed to give Zuko preferential treatment, agreeing with all of Zuko's ideas and letting his eyes linger on Zuko long after Zuko had finished his speeches.

Sokka was settling in for the night continuing to argue with himself when Zuko bounded in. "Sokka! Tai Yang, he asked me out to dinner! I think he might have meant it as a date I'm not sure."

There was an odd lurch in Sokka's stomach as he heard this but he ignored it. "What did he say that made you think that?"

"He said he wanted to get to know me better. Then he mentioned that his uncle Earth King Kuei is getting married to a man soon so his next heir will be his niece." Zuko paused for breath as he excitedly rambled about the cute guy.

"Zuko, I'm sorry I don't think he meant that as a date."

"I'm not done yet. Then he said he was like his uncle in a lot of ways. Then he winked at me and said he looked forward to seeing me tomorrow night and couldn't wait for some 'quality time'." Zuko looked at Sokka as though awaiting a response.

It took Sokka a minute to fully realize how oblivious Zuko was. "Wait, so you're asking me to see if you think he meant it as a romantic date?" He asked incredulously.

Pink started to tinge Zuko's cheeks and ears. "I just thought you'd be the person to ask. You're the only person I can really talk to about this. What? Am I reading too much into this? Is this just supposed to be a normal hangout?" 

Sokka did a face palm. A negative emotion seemed to rise up in him but he quashed it. "Zuko, this is obviously a date. He's totally into you."

"Really?!" The happiness in Zuko's voice sounded almost alien. This was the first time he sounded like a normal teenager.

"Duh." Sokka didn't know why all of a sudden a nauseated feeling came over him and it only worsened as Zuko started gushing about how smart and pretty Tai Yang was.

Zuko sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, blushing. "Sorry, I'm probably talking too much. I'm just really happy that I can finally talk to someone about this." He gave Sokka a sweet little smile.

Sokka forced a smile in return. "Yeah, anytime."

Zuko registered the discomfort on Sokka's face. "Are you alright?" He felt worried, did he say something wrong?

"It's fine, my stomach just hurts, I think I might have had some bad meat." He lied but Zuko seemed to buy it.

"Do you want me to get a doctor?"

"Nah, I'll be fine." Then he mockingly pouted and said. "I'll probably have to stay away from meat for a little bit. How will I survive?"

He lay awake that night trying to block out his imagination conjuring pictures of Zuko and Tai Yang together. Why was he thinking about this? He didn't want to think about Zuko and what he may do with a guy. It wasn't his business and he shouldn't judge. The nauseating feeling in his stomach refused to go away.

The next day was business as usual for the most part. They met with city planners coming up with budgets and approving changes to infrastructure. Zuko and Sokka responded to letter after letter. He did his best to take detailed notes on issues facing the Southern Water Tribe brought up in the letters to be remedied but his brain refused to focus. 

For most people Zuko would have seemed normal but Sokka noticed the small things. The way he carried himself the look in his eyes the way he fidgeted his hands. Zuko was excited and happy and nervous presumably about his upcoming date with Tai Yang that evening. Sokka didn't have a word to label how he felt other than bad. He wasn't angry, he wasn't sad he just knew he didn't like the way he felt.

Eventually the sun began to set and Zuko grabbed Sokka's hand and dragged him to his room. His grip was calloused and strong but he still handled Sokka with care. Something about the warm grip around his hand assuaged a little bit of negativity he was feeling.

"What should I wear?" Zuko nervously tucked a stray piece of his long black hair behind his ear and blushed, looking down.

Sokka didn't need to think, he already knew what Zuko did and did not look good in. After digging around in his massive closet for a second he handed Zuko a crimson and gold outfit with a low V-neck that exposed his defined pecs and pants that complimented his figure. More than once he had noticed that Zuko looked good in these specific garments. 

"What do you think? Am I a genius or what?" He gave Zuko a grin. Zuko didn't seem to notice the forced nature of his expression.

"Thanks," he paused for an awkward second after taking the outfit. Then he wrapped his arms around Sokka in a tight hug. "Sorry, just being able to talk to you, you'll never know how much it means to me." His voice was muffled but Sokka hugged him back.

"I'll always be here for you Zuko."

Sokka waved as he and Tai Yang got into the palanquin before heading out into the city. His stomach sank and his heart was heavy. But, why? Why was he feeling this way? How could he be so bigoted as to hate the idea of Zuko being with a man? He admonished himself. Zuko needed him right now. He was the only person in Zuko's life who knew his secret and was okay talking about his feelings towards men with. Sokka went back inside the palace angry at Zuko and Tai Yang for making him feel this way and even angrier at himself for this bigotry.


	5. Chapter 5

"So…" Zuko's voice trailed off as he tried to make small talk with Tai Yang. It was hard for him to meet those intense green eyes.

"So, where are we going?" He chimed in saving Zuko from the pink that was starting to tinge his cheeks.

"Oh, you said you wanted to try Fire Nation cuisine so I'm taking you to a restaurant that serves traditional dishes. I hope you like it. I used to come here as a kid with my mom. I don't know how it'll hold up now that I'm not a kid."

"Well, I'm excited to find out." He beamed at Zuko who didn't know how to respond to the positivity that radiated off of him. "Apart from Fire Lord duties, what do you like to do?"

"Oh, I like spending time with my friends. Practicing my sword skills and fire bending is important. Sometimes I feed the turtleducks in the courtyard or sit on the bench and watch them." Now that he was saying it outloud he realized how much of his life was consumed by being the Fire Lord. He supposed he hadn't noticed the strain of his duties because Sokka was always there to support him.

Nope. He was not thinking about Sokka. He liked Tai Yang, he was optimistic, sweet, and rather attractive. However, Tai Yang didn't hold a candle to the inferno that lit up in his heart when he thought about Sokka. Zuko hoped going on this date and spending time with Tai Yang would help shift his love of Sokka onto someone who was actually capable of reciprocating his feelings.

"but painting is probably my favorite." Tai Yang concluded. 

Zuko had been too focused on his own thoughts to hear the first half but he tried to play it off. "Yeah, I like painting too. I've never been particularly great but I tried it a couple times."

"I think it would be fun to paint together sometime."

"Uh, sure, umm, what do you like to paint?" 

Tai Yang was cut off from describing the best and worst Earth Kingdom landscapes to paint as their palanquin was set down. They were escorted by guards to a private balcony overlooking the street, the sun was now almost completely set so there were only a couple of people meandering. Zuko saw a man closing up a shop that had a sign advertising men's fashion. Just as he was thinking about Sokka's love for shopping and how fun it would be to go together during the day a waitress pulled him out of his thoughts.

"How can I be of service, Fire Lord?" She asked before bowing.

"What would you recommend? We're looking to try traditional food."

She pointed out a couple things on the menu and eventually he and Tai Yang chose a couple of platters.

An awkward silence fell over the table. "So you're friends with the Avatar, what's that like?"

"Aang has grown up a lot over the last couple of years. He's wise but still fun."

"Have you ever flown on his bison?" Tai Yang sounded excited about the very concept.

"Yeah, it's fun at first but it starts to suck once you've been stuck in the saddle for a couple hours."

"Care to recount any stories?"

Zuko was about to finish his story about being on the run in Ba Sing Se and freeing Oppa when the food came. The rest of the meal went by pleasantly enough. He and Tai Yang kept polite conversation going, exchanging anecdotes and surface level questions.

As they were finishing up and Zuko had requested the check. Tai Yang asked "Would you be willing to walk with me for a little bit before we head back to the palace?"

"Uh, sure."

A few minutes later, on the sidewalk outside the restaurant, Zuko was waving his guards off assuring them he'd be back in a few minutes and could take care of himself.

"Thank you for accompanying me to dinner tonight." He paused and looked at Zuko with a seductive expression on his face. "I think you and I both know what this really was." His voice was no longer chipper, he sounded low and gravelly. He turned into an alleyway beckoning for Zuko to join him away from where anyone could see them.

Zuko blushed and looked down. "I- uh,"

"Hey, look at me for a second." He said sweetly.

Zuko did, raising his head till his eyes met Tai Yang's. Before he could react Tai Yang had grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. He held the sides of Zuko's face. Zuko's entire body was rigid with shock. He realized his eyes were still open and he closed them trying to enjoy the sensation letting his muscles relax. But he couldn't, his mind kept going back to Sokka, wishing this was Sokka kissing him. He gently pushed Tai Yang off of him.

"I'm sorry. I," he wanted to be honest and explain why he it wasn't Tai Yang's fault he didn't kiss him back. Then it occurred to Zuko that he would be admitting he likes men to a guy he had known for less than a week. "I don't feel the same," he said before walking out of the alley and back towards his guards.

Tai Yang jogged to catch up with his brisk pace. "My apologies Fire Lord I did not mean to offend-"

"It's alright, let's just not talk about it again," he said in a monotone voice as he clambered into the palanquin. The ride home was very quiet.

Sokka had tried to distract himself doing footwork drills for sword fighting but he couldn't concentrate. It disgusted him but he couldn't stop envisioning images of Zuko and Tai Yang together, laughing, kissing, and in more intimate positions.

He decided to grab a book and go sit outside so he'd know when Zuko arrived. The sun set below the horizon and he had to ask a random palace guard to bend so he'd have a light. After almost 3 hours had passed and Sokka was over halfway done with the thick tome that the palanquin stopped at the bottom of the palace steps. Zuko stepped out and Tai Yang followed. His foot caught on his robes and he suddenly fell letting out a smile cry of shock. Zuko caught him before he hit the ground and helped him up, gripping his shoulder and bicep.

Rage ignited in Sokka as he stood. Tai Yang gave Zuko a look of adoration and thanked him. Sokka was revolted, they were so close together. Tai Yang walked up the stairs and as he passed Sokka waved and said "Ambassador Sokka, I look forward to seeing you in the meeting tomorrow."

This remark was not special, it was a polite comment but something about it enraged Sokka. "Oh, yeah can't wait," he snarled.

He looked taken aback. "Ambassador?"

"Yeah, can't wait to here more of your dumb ideas. What new bullshit are you going to share tomorrow? I'm excited to find out." He was sarcastic without humor. It shocked even Sokka how cold yet pissed he sounded.

"How dare -" Tai Yang started to reply indignantly.

Zuko interrupted getting between the two of them. "Ambassador Tai Yang, please go I'll deal with this." He gave an apologetic look which only made Sokka angrier. Tai Yang gave Sokka a withering look before turning on his heel and walking away. "Ambassador Sokka, a private word please." 

Shit. He was definitely in trouble, Zuko rarely called him by his title and only ever when they were in public. It felt like a slap in the face. He nodded. They both walked through the palace not saying a word. Zuko opened his door for Sokka who slipped into his room. Zuko then gave the two guards stationed outside his door orders before entering and closing the door.

"What was that about?!"

"Nothing." Sokka responded, folding his arms on his chest.

They looked into each other's eyes for a long minute. Then something seemed to occur to Zuko and there was a hurt look. "Do- do you not like that I was on a date with a guy?" It was barely a whisper.

"What? No, of course not. I couldn't care less who you go on dates with. Screw as many guys as you want, it doesn't matter to me." He was lying. It shouldn't matter to him but for some reason it did.

Instead of placating Zuko it seemed as though this only upset him more. He clenched his fists. "You have no room to judge me! You talked all the time about your dates with Suki! I had to see you two constantly together!" 

They both looked shocked at Zuko's words and tears started to prickle in Sokka's eyes as memories of his time with Suki came flooding back.

"Oh spirits, Sokka I'm sorry I said that without thinking I didn't-" He made a motion to step towards Sokka but at the last moment stopped. Sokka held up his hand, cutting him off.

"I'm going to go and cool off." His voice was ice cold as a steely look came over his face. He blinked tears out of his eyes as he pushed the doors to Zuko's room open and vanished.

Zuko dropped to his knees staring at the door as it swung closed. His throat was tight as he started to cry, realization of what he had done washing over him like a tsunami. There was always that small piece of hope inside him that Sokka would like him back, but now it was gone. Pain ignited in his chest, it felt as though his physical heart was literally being torn of his chest and crushed. He didn't know what else to do, he just sat on the floor of his room sobbing.

Sokka's words echoed over and over in his head 'screw as many guys as you want it doesn't matter to me'. He was mad at himself. He had been dumb enough to fall for Sokka. He brought up his dead girlfriend in an argument. He was angry and he wasn't thinking when he said that but, that didn't really matter. He hurt Sokka, the man he loved, the man who didn't love him back.

He took out the small crown that held up his top knot letting his long hair flow free. Looking down at the metal trinket he saw his own tear streaked face staring back at him. There it was his scar. Rage overwhelmed him and he threw it across the room. The mark would be on his face for the rest of his life. That's all he would ever be an ugly, scarred, unlovable freak. 

He collapsed into bed and pulled Sokka's pillow towards him, wrapping his arms around it. Burying his face in the pillow, he inhaled the smell of Sokka. Maybe he could pretend this was Sokka and that Sokka loved him and wanted to hold him. This only made him cry harder.


	6. Chapter 6

Sokka left Zuko's room unsure of where to go or what to do with his turbulent emotions. Tears kept leaking out of his eyes and he didn't know why. Maybe it was being reminded of the loss of Suki or the fact that his best friend had been the one to bring it up. But he thought it might be something else. The sick feeling in his stomach was even stronger now. This was the negative emotion he had been feeling all day boiling over. It came out as anger with Zuko and now that he was alone wandering through the palace it was sadness. 

He ended up outside Katara and Aang's room. It opened directly into a courtyard so Appa could sleep near them. Sokka sniffed, wiped his eyes, and knocked on the door. A second later the door opened.

"Yes-?" Katara said before realizing it was her brother. "Sokka? What's the matter? Are you okay?" Her brows furrowed with concern as she beckoned Sokka in the room. They sat together on a small sofa. "Aang's out with Appa right now." Katara said nodding towards the rest of the empty room. She looked at her brother clearly awaiting an explanation of his tear streaked face.

"Zuko and I got into an argument."

"About what?"

Sokka recounted the negative way he had been feeling since Zuko and Tai Yang were spending time together and how rude he had been to Tai Yang earlier that evening. He made sure not to mention that Zuko was attracted to Tai Yang, it wasn't his secret to tell. Then he explained their argument and how Zuko inadvertently brought up Suki.

"Wow, Sokka, you're really that oblivious?" She said after thinking for a moment.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She sighed. "Can you think of a time before now when you felt this way? This negative emotion?"

Sokka scoured his brain. "Oh," he remembered he had felt that way when he met Yue's fiance. The dislike and protective feeling was exactly the same now. "I felt this way when I got into a fight with the guy Yue was supposed to marry."

"Do you think you might have been jealous of Tai Yang?" Katara asked.

Sokka blinked. Everything she was saying made sense and he was finally able to put a word to his feelings. It wasn't bigotry, it was jealousy. "I- I think so." He rubbed his face with his hands. "This is so much. I- I'm really overwhelmed. Am I betraying Suki by feeling this way? It's only been like two and a half weeks and it still hurts to think about her."

Katara wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulder. "I know this is a lot to learn about yourself but I think Suki would want you to be happy. She cared about you and if you found a healthy way to move on I think she'd want that for you," she looked him deep in the eyes her hand touching her necklace, "you and I both know what it's like to lose someone we love and as long as we remember her a part of her will always be with us."

Sokka wrapped his arms around his sister and they held each other for a long time. "What do I do now?" He whispered.

Katara raised an eyebrow. "Sokka, we already make jokes about you two being boyfriends. Go to him." She gently pushed him.

"Thanks Katara" he said as he walked out the door. He headed in the direction of Zuko's room but his confidence wavered and he turned away. His stomach grumbled and he thought it might be a good idea to get some food from the kitchens.

He sat at a table chewing on a deliciously spiced piece of meat on a stick. Things started to line up in his head. When he was on the run from the Fire Nation he used to stay up thinking about Zuko, he used to interpret it as hatred. Then he evolved, being the first person on the team to show Zuko kindness after he officially joined them. Following the war he had shared a bond with Zuko unlike any he had shared before. Then something hit Sokka like a ton of rocks bent at him by Toph. The more he insisted he didn't care who Zuko was with the more hurt Zuko seemed. The thing that finally gave him the courage to talk to Zuko was the realization not only that he hurt Zuko and should apologize but that Zuko wanted him to care.

He stood up, thanked the chef, and tossed the stick in the garbage before strutting off to Zuko's room with a new sense of purpose. Eventually he was outside his doors and knocked.

"The Fire Lord is indisposed at the moment, can the matter wait?" Sokka recognized Zuko's 'Fire Lord voice' because why on earth would a normal human speak that way. 

"Zuko, it's me, can we talk?" His voice still quivered with nervousness.

"Uh," Zuko seemed to stall for a second "sure. Come in."

Zuko was sitting on his bed looking slightly disheveled. His long hair was somewhat knotted, his clothes were wrinkled, and his face looked red as though he had been crying. Guilt washed over Sokka at the thought he caused this.

He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I was a jerk. I was jealous." His words were fast and mushed together. Zuko raised an eyebrow clearly confused. "I-, uh, seeing you with Tai Yang made me feel bad and then I was a jerk to him. I thought I was being mean because I didn't like you liking a guy. But, I talked to Katara and I've realized something. I- I-" he summoned up all his courage "I think I was jealous of Tai Yang because I like you."

Zuko stared at him with a look of complete shock. "Is this a joke?" His eyes scanned Sokka's face as if trying to read his mind.

He shook his head. "No, I've had all these conflicting feelings since the funeral and if I'm being honest, even before we lost Suki."

Zuko wordlessly got up and walked towards Sokka until the two men were standing face to face. Zuko looked up as Sokka was an inch or two taller. He made a motion as though he wanted to reach out towards Sokka but he stopped himself again. Their eyes met, ocean blue and molten gold held one another for a long time. 

"Can I kiss you?" Sokka whispered.

Zuko's lips parted slightly as he nodded. Their eyes closed as they brought their faces together. Sokka's hot mouth captured Zuko's as they intertwined their bodies. Zuko wrapped his arms around Sokka's lower back and he cradled the other man's face. His heart was going to explode, he was excited and happy and nervous and this felt so good. They paused for a second stuck in that gentle peck. Then, simultaneously it seemed, a hunger erupted in both of them. They kissed with more fervor bodies flush against one another. Sokka sucked Zuko's lower lip into his mouth and let his tongue graze along it. Zuko seemed to read his mind and parted his lips more leaving room for Sokka's tongue to explore. It was fiery and passionate and intimate. Eventually they pulled apart slightly out of breath, lips swollen. Zuko gave the most adorable shy smile as he looked down his cheeks heating up. 

"I don't know if you feel the same way but I thought that was pretty goo-"

"That's the best thing I've ever done." Zuko interrupted. He looked embarrassed at his words. "Sorry, I've just wanted to kiss you for so long now."

"Really? Since when?"

"I- um, let's sit," he nodded towards his couch. He led Sokka by the hand and they sat facing each other. "I thought you were attractive the first time I met you, in the war paint."

"When you kicked me in the face and attacked my village?" He smirked at Zuko who looked down ashamed. "Don't worry, I forgave you forever ago." Sokka raised his eyebrows. "Continue."

"I started to like you when you guys accepted me into the team. Then at the Boiling Rock, spending all that time with you, seeing your determination and how smart you were, I fell for you."

"You liked me? All this time?" Sokka didn't know how to feel about this revelation. On the surface level he was surprised but deep down he thought he knew.

"Yeah, I just- I knew or thought I knew you didn't like guys. I tried to get rid of my feelings for you but, I just couldn't."

"I'm that sexy huh?" Sokka gave a cartoonish smolder. 

Zuko snorted, rolling his eyes as he gave Sokka a playful shove. "So, um, how long have you felt this way?" 

"I always felt close with you after the Boiling Rock but I just labeled it as a friendship. But, the last couple months before Suki died I started doubting our relationship feeling like my heart was with someone else. I just always assumed I liked girls and didn't know what to do with it. Then, seeing you with Tai Yang, helped me put stuff together."

"What do you want to do now?" Zuko asked, looking at Sokka with those mesmerizing eyes.

"Sleep." Sokka said, yawning. Looking out the window the moon and the stars were glittering in the sky.

Zuko couldn't help but yawn in response. "I mean, do you want to, um, kiss again or do other stuff or-" 

"Do you want me to kiss you again?"

Zuko looked embarrassed as nodded saying "Ye-"

But before he could finish Sokka had cut off his words. As their lips met Zuko's hand found Sokka's as he held his, their fingers interlaced. Sokka didn't know what came over him but he picked Zuko up, supporting his thighs and back with muscular arms. Unwilling to pull their lips apart, he walked over to the bed and placed Zuko on his back in such a way that Sokka could straddle his lap. He could feel Zuko smiling into the kiss. After a long while they broke apart, Sokka still holding Zuko's face.

"We can figure out what we are later. Right now all I want to do is kiss you and hold you while we fall asleep."

That's exactly what they did Zuko curled against Sokka's side, who had a protective arm on top of him. The other, gently stroking the long black hair. They were in a warm little bubble. There were no more secrets between them, they were able to finally express their affection. They both fell asleep happier than they had been in months.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed the first chapter. NGL I posted this so I'd have motivation to finish it. I refuse to leave y'all hanging. No clue how much I'm gonna add so just hope these two dumbasses figure out how to communicate. I love reading comments feel free to leave em. I'm here to improve my writing (if I fucked anything up or need to change something please tell me).


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